10knotes:

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….this is a joke right?
10knotes:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

I wasn’t aware there was such a thing as fake music. Terrible music, yes, but I never knew about fake music. 
Mind blowing. 

10knotes:

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I wasn’t aware there was such a thing as fake music. Terrible music, yes, but I never knew about fake music. 

Mind blowing. 

(Source: esseule)

Can’t teach an old dog-groomer new tricks

clientsfromhell:

Client: “I want this marketing campaign we ran in the 80’s as our homepage. One of our old groomers drew it up. It’s kooky and retro.”

 Me: “Oh!… Uh….Oh, I can’t put this up.”

Client: “Why not? Is it because it has a Chinaman on it?”

Me: “A Chinese man. A caricature of a Chinese man chasing a dog with a knife and fork, yelling ‘ME SORRY’…”

Client: “Are we not still laughing at that stuff?”

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

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Every time I watched Walking Dead I thought that I would get myself two things in that situation: a suit of armor and a boat. 

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

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Every time I watched Walking Dead I thought that I would get myself two things in that situation: a suit of armor and a boat. 

(Source: thats-so-meme, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

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Is this from that new movie coming out? I was like “Omg I need to see that” and my dad laughed and said “It’s rated R, nice try” and I said “You sat and watched The Hangover with me.”

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

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Is this from that new movie coming out? I was like “Omg I need to see that” and my dad laughed and said “It’s rated R, nice try” and I said “You sat and watched The Hangover with me.”

(Source: weheartit.com, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

lulz-time:

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10knotes:

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mostlynerdery:

carelesshoneybadger:

dingoatemybabycrazy:

secret-agent-melissa-mceagle:

pseudognostic:

striderprovider:

algrenion:

globalsoftpirka:

sciencetodo:

cloudywithachanceofdaleks:

nezumi-found-your-blog-and:

wtfbadromancecovers:

And then there’s this.

no, no… why is this book happening…


GUYS THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY VAGINA AND IT IS NOT A DICK
I THINK IT MAY BE SATAN 
CALL GHOST BUSTERS
OR A GYNECOLOGIST 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN GHOST BUSTERS CAN’T LOOK INTO MY VAGINA 
WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY GYNECOLOGIST CAN’T PERFORM AN EXORCISM 

No, it only gets worse with the bio on amazon: 
“It’s difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead…
Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy’s pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return… especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy’s legs.”
…And the fact it has mainly 5 stars on amazon.

My favourite part of the synopsis:She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal.I’m just imagining this girl shrugging and being like “Eh. Haunted vagina. You know, the usual.”Also, THE TITLE IS THE HAUNTED VAGINATHAT IS LITERALLY THE TITLE OF THIS NOVEL

From the author of “Apeshit”.

THIS
SOUNDS LIKE MY KIND OF BOOK

I want this book so I can read it in public

i know who would be perfect for this job


Sam’s dick is already practically a death sentence. Maybe this is his girl.
Also


this again
okay once I turn 18 and have my own credit card I’m fucking buying this

For my friends. You know who you are.

I have not smiled this much in a long long time. 

mostlynerdery:

carelesshoneybadger:

dingoatemybabycrazy:

secret-agent-melissa-mceagle:

pseudognostic:

striderprovider:

algrenion:

globalsoftpirka:

sciencetodo:

cloudywithachanceofdaleks:

nezumi-found-your-blog-and:

wtfbadromancecovers:

And then there’s this.

no, no… why is this book happening…

GUYS THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY VAGINA AND IT IS NOT A DICK

I THINK IT MAY BE SATAN 

CALL GHOST BUSTERS

OR A GYNECOLOGIST 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN GHOST BUSTERS CAN’T LOOK INTO MY VAGINA 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY GYNECOLOGIST CAN’T PERFORM AN EXORCISM 

No, it only gets worse with the bio on amazon: 

“It’s difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead…

Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy’s pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. 

When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return… especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy’s legs.”

…And the fact it has mainly 5 stars on amazon.

My favourite part of the synopsis:
She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal.
I’m just imagining this girl shrugging and being like “Eh. Haunted vagina. You know, the usual.”
Also, THE TITLE IS THE HAUNTED VAGINA
THAT IS LITERALLY THE TITLE OF THIS NOVEL

From the author of “Apeshit”.

THIS

SOUNDS LIKE MY KIND OF BOOK

I want this book so I can read it in public

i know who would be perfect for this job

Sam’s dick is already practically a death sentence. Maybe this is his girl.

Also

this again

okay once I turn 18 and have my own credit card I’m fucking buying this

For my friends. You know who you are.

I have not smiled this much in a long long time. 

(via coconutduckbaby)

I can no longer hear the phrase "let's get down to business" without wanting to defeat the Huns.